Power up and let the plan find me

Taking 5
After 2 weeks of summer camp like playtime at the Kauai Beach house hostile, I felt myself being called to take 5 and let the body take a breath. In other words, I needed time to let my body catch up to all the transformations that I ran through over the course of arising through playtime.  Both my daughter Jill and I felt like a  rest away from the crowd was being requested. She had decided that she would move towards Mauai as her next stop on her own personal journey. Rather than take off with her, I checked in with myself to find that I was still perfectly where I needed to be in Kauai. We found a one bedroom condo to call home for a few days prior to her departure. It was exquisite to have mother/daughter  down time and be nourished by the beauty of the space that had a full working kitchen and our own bathroom. I kissed the fridge and hugged the counter tops in appreciation. I really mean this literally.  To be surrounded by beauty and to nestle into the softness of the clean fresh sheets and towels was the perfect treat. It felt wonderful because it was what was being requested. I would not need or want this all the time. It was simply part of a beautiful cycle that I have been running through and each part of it has been fabulous.

Once Jill departed for Mauai,  I moved across the street to a resort where I held down the hammock and starred up at the clouds for many hours feeling content to do nothing. During this NO-THING time I realized that I was still planning my life ALOT. I was still contemplating my future and attempting to control it. Because I was spending so much energy trying to be somewhere and going ahead of myself to create a safe place, I was not being fully available to be here. As I was rocked in the hammock, I said "I want to be here". I want to be here ,100% engaged without knowing what the future holds. " That choice, that awareness brought me more deeply into HOME than any plans could possibly create As I became available to be here,   my higher levels had something to play with…could take me deeper. I also realized that I was Ok with wherever I called home next because I would be able to deal with the feelings that came up. I was also aware that I had several choices and they were all viable form camping to five start hotels. I was feeling a new sense of freedom of choice and less pull of the emotional responses to not knowing where I would call home. Inspired, I  awoke at 3 am and posted an add for a room to rent on "The Heart Beat of Kauai " web site . I felt it was being answered as it was being posted. By 10 am I had a reply and a room.  Since the demand for lodging on this Island, exceeds the availability, I knew that magic had penetrated the flow and I was IN. I was IN because I chose to be IN.

View from my hammock

Now that I am nettled into my new home, a prefect fit, I feel like a new cycle has began. Another new cycle. No longer a tourist of the island or the world or my own body for that matter, I have now graduated to playful resident and explorer. As each of the 70 trillion cells in my body arise and power up with my own unique consciousness, I make myself available for the plan. This is so brilliant.  I resonate with the frequencies of my own plan and it finds me. Let the plan plan me. Brilliant! Let myself be shown what I want before I even know I want it.

Today was  my first day of having no plan at all and being available for life in this new way. I did not know what to do? So many options. I found myself feeling both low and  content off and on. I found myself asking how would I like to move today? Other than "connect with nature", I got nothing , so I  puttered and let my body rest. Slowing down, gave me the opportunity to engage love more deeply in my writing. To engage love (me) more deeply in each movement.  Perhaps, rest and  quiet was my plan all along. Good job myself. One big inhale and exhale, gives me the answer without any words at all!!

My new love nest

Guess who caught the bouquet?

I just passed the 6 week mark here on Kauai and it just keeps getting better.  Since moving to the Kauai Beach House Hostel, life has become one big family. People come and go but there is a core OHANA (family) living each day as a song, a dance, a sharing, a kindness …... Some people are working at the hostel in exchange for lodging. Some are passing through on their way to the Kalalau trail. Still others like myself and my daughter are here to enjoy the connection through community living and partake of the bounty of this beautiful islands many beaches and trails. Every day there is a new adventure.

Last week we went zip lining. Not something I would have chosen myself but it seemed like a good idea when it came up.  With a big fat YES , I  decided go for it and abstain from worry .  I figure why worry when perhaps I am no longer the person who is afraid of speed or height. It turned out that it was true. So it would have been a waste to get worked up. After the first few launches off the edge, (a bit of a leap of faith), I developed a need  for speed . I watched a 14 year old boy launch himself off the edge and I followed suit with all I could muster.   We spent the entire day out in the stunningly gorgeous and picturesque outback of Kauai zipping and enjoying the magnificent vistas. Incidentally, this is the very land where Jurassic Park was filmed.  The day ended with a little zip into a fresh water pond. Deep transformation occurred for me that day as I let myself arise through play!!

Jill and Kiala, harnessed and ready for action !!

What you see under us is just the tree line ……the bottom is way way down there under the water falls. Very beautiful. Like the garden of Eden!!

Adventure #2 involved a trip to the end of the road on the west side of the island. After a day of deeply satisfying wave riding at Brenneckes beach in Poip'u, we headed to Pulahale for sunset. The 4.1 mile dirt road, laden with pot holes,  took approximately 30 min to navigate in our Toyota Echo. The end result was well worth the head bobbing and wear and tear on the rental car. We were treated to wild Hawaiian waters and a gorgeous vista looking down the Napali Coast. Heaven on earth. As colours of the sunset and the almost full moon penetrated our senses, we dove into the embrace of the magic of  land and sea and tumbled head long into playtime. During the  30 min return trip, we created a song line starting with "999 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" , that is surely still echoing through the area. Between  stopping for toad crossings in the now darkened road way and belting out melodies with heart opening zeal, the trip was a complete paradigmal blast.

I will end this blog by sharing the Nuptuals of Olive and Jewel. My first same sex wedding.  With very little planning (two days in fact) the ceremony was an inspiration of community giving and sharing.  The two brides declared their intention to be married and everyone jumped to contribute. We even had an in house minister who was able to perform the ceremony. Same sex marriage is legal in Hawaii but not yet legalized in their home state of Oregon. Ohana came out of the woodworks (I really mean this literally) to share their gifts and create beauty. This is what it is like to let go and let the whole universe give to you. A photographer ,who incidentally is also a pole dancer come cirque du Soleil acrobat, shared her talents.  Someone brought champagne and another chocolate with which we  toasted the new couple. Another made a bouquet and someone else appeared with flowered leis. As the ceremony was about to begin a brother showed up out of thin air to play the wedding song requested by the brides. He literally came in out of no where and sang it beautifully. OMG!!! As they pronounced their vows, the sun beamed out from behind a cloud and when they were finished a whale beached to the left. You can't plan that!!! Still gives me goosebumps. The party that followed was a delight of song , hula hooping, tree climbing, coconut pole dancing and sharing of everything. A beautiful day was gifted to all of us.

I asked for community (inside and out) and I am being gifted with it faster than I can think it. Through this connection, my body is letting go of cellularly held memories. Letting go of what I have been taught that is not true. Letting go of habitual worry.  I hear my higher levels, my divine intellect ,whisper softly  "Kiala, you have been expecting the worst for a long time but we want to give you the best ride ever. Jump in sister, the waves  that we are sending you are going to take you on a journey of arisement through play. Even if you stumble, we got your back. GO FOR IT."

 Congratulations OLIVE and JEWELS

GUESS WHO CAUGHT THE BOUQUET?

Landed in my hand like a guided missile!!! Bring it on!!

Going Over the Edge

A few days ago, I paddled out beyond the break with my boogie board and let myself be carried over the waves threshold from behind. I had been watching the surf from the beach and I knew that they were falling straight down with a bang. I went out anyway. I let the wave catch me anyway. I went over the edge and  fell right over the tumbling water fall in a nose dive. I  crashed  and was swept this way and that by the sheer force of the enormous surge. Eventually I came up for air only to be  swept away again by the next wave. Once I found my footing, and got the water out my ear, I realized that I was totally Ok . I went back out to catch the next wave (not the break you neck kind). That's evolutionary change baby…I promise you that nothing could have convinced me to take that plunge had I not shifted the terror held  in my body's cellular memory.

 CHANGE happens when the doorway to possibility becomes the one that is the most appealing. If suffering and battling and being a victim or victimiser  is more appealing, it will continue to play out in our lives. So how do we allow the doorway to THRIVING  pull us toward it so that it the only door that makes any sense on every level. WE PLUG IN AT THAT LEVEL again and again and again until it becomes the norm. As we plug in and entrain to our light realms, we become them . We experience a cellular dynamic shift. I say dynamic, because it is always in movement and always moving towards even more possibility. Even more freedom, even more creativity. It is virtual and unlimited. As we play here…... ALL  debris falls away.

STRATEGIES WILL NEVER EVER CREATE EVOLUTIONARY CHANGE. WHY? Because it is like stretching a rubber band. As long as we put work into stretching it  and holding it there, it will seem to be the change we seek. BUT when we let go, for any reason and stop the behaviour, it bounces right back to it's original size.  All the  results that were created in the stretch are no longer available because no cellular change was established. This is also why therapy does not work. It  is why meditation , yoga, diets, and exercise do not produce lasting results for so many people.  Unless we are connected to the unlimited field of possibility, the door that says I choose to THRIVE and we BE in our body, "NO THING" changes.

The truth is that dynamic cellular change in the quantum field is a million times easier than strategy. I have said some of this before in earlier blogs but as I gain clarity and I make evolutionary and dynamic cellular shifts, the truth  evolves me.  When we are connected and in  the body anything can create a spontaneous shift and anybody can be bridge to assist the shift. It could be an ascended master or a baby. A homeless person or a beautiful sunset. Everything and anything can  trigger a spontaneous evolutionary shifts when we are engaged in the body in quantum. Quatum is our innate state of connectivity when all of our cells are hooked up to source.

 HOW DO I CREATE THIS  CONNECTION?

As we continually choose the doorway to our innate AWESMAZING self , it lights up more and more easily. It becomes a channel that pulls you forward into the you that you have always known yourself to be.  As the doorway lights up, the mental and emotional battle ceases and as it ceases, the doorway lights up even more vibrantly.

For the past 16 years.  I have given my live to the vibrancy of the door of unlimited possibilities without even consciously knowing what it was doing. I just kept saying YES and I AM DONE and I SURRENDER and I AM ALL IN.   In some inexplicable way, I have always seen myself as a force of love on the planet and that has been the vibrancy that has pulled me toward it. It has little to do with success or failure. I just see myself as love and I keep following it.   Over and over again, I  have stepped in and stumbled over the edge as a new pathways presented. All these years later, the doorways that were a challenge initially, are now lighting me up like a Chirstmas tree as soon as I put my foot in the door.

Lots is still coming up and fast, to be cleared away. The truth is that I have many moments of total clarity and  then a sadness creeps in or a worry or a depression or a fear or a terror. It is easy to confuse what is at the surface and ready to be released with thinking that I am not thriving. The truth is , these sensations come and go very quickly. More quickly than I have ever experienced.  I hold possible that my next breath  will be the one that tips me over the crest of the wave and into the Beloved, never again to perceive struggle in any way.  Jesus and so many others have gone ahead of us and the pathway is well established .  I promise you that as I fall over that edge , again and again,  I am here to assist everybody to do the same.

If anyone out there is really struggling, feeling stuck, want to mov into something new but you don't know how…feeling blue and can't shift it. Feeling worried a lot of the time…I CAN HELP YOU. I am a master at moving this stuff out and making room for you toTHRIVE. I have been through all of it and felt all of it. None of it is new to me. Send me a comment with your email address if you are interested in receiving my brand of help. (I won't publish it so no one else can see it). I am certified Quantum TRANSFORMATION Coach, Professional Life Coach and Personal Mastery Teacher . I CAN HELP YOU!!
 

Sweet surrender to love!

Recently, while I was contemplating the waves at Kealea beach on Kauai, I man drove into my life and 9 days later he was gone. What happened in between was a sweet surrender to love and a quick exit from a relationship based on karma.

I am not going to share in a lot of detail at this time, as the experience is still tender in my cells and it is still  informing me . I will say that it was sweet to be with a man in all the ways of love after more than 7 years. It was surprised at how easily available I was of the experience and how much I was able to  receive. I hardly recognized the women I have become.

When it came time to let it go ( that became very obvious), I was able to release the catch into mama pacifica and harvest many beautifully shimmering pearls.  I recognized quickly that although love was very prevalent  and heart felt, it was not a pure marriage of heart but one that was based on passed journeys (Karma) and so became complicated as quickly as it was heartfelt.  Recognizing this, made it easy to be able to step away. I am here for love. I am awakening to love . It was wonderful to have this full on experience. Karma no longer holds us . We are not bound by the past which is why I was so quick to see it for what it was and let go. 

The bottom line is , do you want to evolve though possibility or through struggle? Do you want to play on the beach, sing, dance, make love and have fun and let the lower levels evolve through this movement or do you want to process through the incarnational karmic levels and struggle to let the light in? 

 Higher levels show me a marriage of the heart without all the debris of the past . Show me what is possible.  Who is it possible for me to become ? Show me the bounty. YOU do all the work and I will dive right in.  

                                           Love activations from Kauai……….Over the Rainbow!!

Island time…Kiala's adventure up the Sleeping Giant.

It is truly hard to believe that only one week has gone by since my last post.  It feels like months. Living on Kauai on island time, makes it feel that way because time is not linear here and going with the flow rather than the clock feels normal.  Last week I decided to hike the sleeping Giant which is a small mountain just outside of Kapaa. Rather than consult a guide book, I to let myself be guided by the mountain . My first stop was to visit the Hindu Monastery. Quoted directly from there website, " This powerful spiritual sanctuary was founded in 1970 by Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami (1927-2001). It is the home of Bodhinatha and his order of 21 swamis, yogis and sadhakas from six nations. The monastery is the headquarters and theological seminary of Saiva Siddhanta Church. It is also home to Himalayan Academy, Hinduism Today magazine and Hindu Heritage Endowment.

Two traditional Saivite Hindu temples are located on the monastery's 363 acres, Kadavul Temple and the San Marga Iraivan Temple, a rare, all-granite Chola-style temple currently being carved in Bangalore, India, and assembled on Kauai. The lush temple grounds are home to granite murtis of Dakshinamurti, Hanuman, Shanmugam, Narmada Lingam, Murugan's Shakti Vel, Ganesha, Nandi, the Guru Parampara and more.

This Monastery, a tropical paradise, is a powerful amplifier of consciousness. There is giant Quartz crystal at the fore front of the Kadavul Temple, brought over from Arkansas and graciously reaching out to all who come to sit with her in stillness.  Silently gazing at the crystal adorned with hindu dressings,  I became keenly aware that making it into some sort of GOD to revere ,would be to create purpose out of something that is simply in a state of beingness. It's clarity is here to assist us to bring more of our beautiful divine essence into the world and into our bodies.  When I left the temple,  I felt like I had taken an internal shower. I felt like myself again.

Just outside of the temple, in the little court area is a  large Andara crystal , exquisitely pretty and powerfully gentle.

 Andara Crystal

Ganesha

Back tracking a little, on route to the temple I had seen two people preparing to hike so I stopped to ask them if this was the entrance to the sleeping giant. They confirmed . I knew that there were several entrances to the mountain and all were of different lengths and challenges. I didn't know what this particular trail would bring, but felt it would be a good place to start. With shoes tied to my back back, I set off barefoot. The trail was gushy with mud and wet with the newly fallen rains.  It was very slow going barefoot but I was enjoying the slowness, therefore summiting the mountain did not matter to me. The journey was the destination. After about 2 miles, my body felt like it was tiring and I was just about to turn around when a fresh mountain stream appeared on my pathway . Dipping my feet into this bountiful flow, I felt  immediately energized and continued to walk forward. I was also aware that I had a 4:00 pm telephone appointment and had to return to my car at that time. However, once I reached the the ascent, my feet took over and I kept following them. I gave over any throught of the phone appointment and put it in the hands of grace as I followed my bliss.  I didn't even know what time it was and I had no idea how long I had been walking. Following the trail upward, I continued to be treated to delicious sensations through the bottoms of my feet as they travelled the path.  Alas ,when  I did reach the summit , I was treated to panoramic views of the ocean, valley, mountains and a feeling of quiet serenity in my body. Walking barefoot was deeply purifying and invigorating in a way that I had never experienced. My legs ceased to be tired as the energies of the earth moved up into my body and treated me to more vitality, freshness and deep peace. Eventually, the time came to descend and I felt the perfection of  wearing my hiking shoes so that I could move faster. My first attempt at descending, I  took the wrong trail and met a young couple who gave me more water. Perhaps it was not the wrong trail but the right one to the water source. I re ascended  and started over again . Once back on the track, the descent was fast .  I still wondered if I could make the treck all the way back without feel extremely fatigued but I willingly kept moving forward. At the bottom, turning left yielded a dead end. Where had my trail along the bottom of the mountain relocated to? It was a mystery. Backtracking once again,  I  decided to follow a fellow hiker and I ended up back out on the highway miles away from my car. As I began walking on the road,  my intuition said "hitchhike". I hadn't done that since I was 17 and so with a little reluctance, I stuck out my thumb, mouthed  a little prayer for the right ride to come along and a man named Richard picked me up. He said he felt sorry for me when he saw my reluctant thumb. We laughed. As resident of the area he knew exactly where I had parked. Apparently I wasn't the first wayward hiker . I reached my car at 3:59 pm and one minute later my phone rang for my 4:00pm appointment. NOW THAT IS WHAT I CALL ISLAND TIME BABY!!!

LOVE IS WHAT WE DISCOVER WHEN FEAR DISSOLVES

I have been on the island of Kauai for 15 days to date .  In this land of laser fast manifestation, the less  I direct the better.  I am experiencing  a very gentle dissolvement of fear as the alchemy of my higher levels and the island combine to inform my body of a new paradigm. To inform me of LOVE.  It isn't actually new, because it is as old as the universe(it is the universe) but it feels like renewal . It is a complete cellular rejuvenation. A dynamic cellular shift from a state of domination and control to a state that is so wide open it is allowing me to take up residence in my own body . The state of domination and control that I am referring to is a  subtle worry that moves around from one body part to another like a worm, creating physical and/or emotional pain,  carrying with it mis information about the reality of safety and love.  As I  have said many times before in this blog, safety (love)  is an inside job. As all identity is dissolved, safety (love) becomes the reality of a wide openness that encompasses everything and therefore has nothing to defend against . SAFETY (LOVE)  IS WHO WE ARE. IT IS WHAT WE DISCOVER WHEN FEAR DISSOLVES.

OPENING TO A MARRIAGE OF THE HEART
I was strolling along the beach yesterday playing my Ukulele and a woman emphatically called me towards her, intrigued by my ukulele playing and unwilling to miss an opportunity to be serenaded. She said to me , "you are a beautiful young women and you will meet someone soon. Maybe even here on the island. " The way this presented was so unusual and so passionate that I walked away feeling that I been hand delivered  a note that the beloved of my heart would soon enter the stage.  My mastery teacher William Linnville tells me that this will be a beautiful challenge for me. . He says, " I love your independence, and it can work for you hands down, but not when your independence is dependent on how many football fields you can keep others away. Your challenge is how close can  you let dear brothers in." Last week I met someone with whom I had an instant sweet and heartfelt connection. As I walked along the beach, I suddenly looked up and saw a beautiful man smiling in my direction. I sat with him and we chatted effortlessly making a loose plan to meet the next day. As this unfolded, I opened and let myself be available with great clarity Nothing came of it, because he was not yet available to let love flourish but it felt wonderful to stand at the edge and be available to fly forward.

“Come to the edge," he said. They said, "We are afraid." Come to the edge," he said. They came. He pushed them...and they flew.” ― Guillaume Apollinaire.

 OHANA…Soul family!

Hiking and climbing barefoot in the mud and rain and feeling the resonance of the land beneath my feet.

Wailua River Valley

The bounty at the end of a great day of hiking and exploring. Thank you to Danny Hashimoto our tour guide for a wonderful day , for the great photos and the amazingly beautiful and tasty treats.

ALOHA Spirit on the island of LOVE

Last week I left off saying that I didn't yet know where I would lay my head that night (in Kauai). I left my hotel feeling homeless and free and homeless and despairing. As I tuned out of the parking lot, my mind was saying, "I am not ready for this " and then a huge wave of love would come through and say "YES you are ready. There is nothing you need to do to prepare yourself. You have dome everything. You have percolated everything that you need. You are OK and you are ready. "  So with that reassurance, I turned left and headed south. I hadn't yet seen that part of the island, so it seemed as good of a course as any. On the surface it doesn't really look like a big deal. After all, I had a credit card, a phone with a local number and a car. Some people move around with far less that this and I have since met them. What was causing the uproar and insecurity was the disconnect from having unanchored myself from any physical location of a perceptual home . To the mind this is like jumping out of an airplane. However, just like sky diving, there was an excitement for the unlimited potential to create while in flight.

The first thing that presented for me was a new car. I had been driving a 2000 Honda accord, which to me felt like a hummingbird driving a tank. The rental car place exchange my accord for a Toyota Echo, a much better match for a Fiat driver.

With my new wings, I continued to travel south and ended up on the beach in Poipu. This is an area that is kind of like a huge cruise ship. It is a village of time shares and does not have the same feel of freshness and freedom as I experienced in the north and east of the island where I had spent the first three nights. To me this place felt soul less. On the surfae, it looked like families having fun and playing but in my body I felt a huge suppression of the divine feminine. As I lay on the beach, a crushing depression came over my heart.  As I continued to lay there, I could hear my higher levels saying, "you are in the birth canal and only you can go through this canal. You cannot take anybody or anything with you." I just lay there and let it wash over me all the while wanting to bolt. Because I had felt these strong feelings before on a little Greek island called Anti Paros (off of an island called Paros),  I knew the thoughts were not me. However this did not lessen the intensity that was taking me over. Although every particle of my being  wanted to jump ship, I jumped in the water instead and broke the cycle enough to feel more of Kiala inside my body.  Going through the birth canal really just means activating the body so that it is not affected by what comes at it from the  masses.  With enough of me restored,  I packed up  and headed north again. Feeling very weepy, I chanted all the way home. I call it home because for whatever reason,  I felt that I was going home. Also my mind already had me on an plane back to BC and I was heading towards the airport .  In the end I found a place called  the Kauai Sands hotel and life changed instantly.  It was all  there waiting for me once I came through the birth canal and was pushed out into the authenticity of the island. I was given a poolside room with an ocean view on the lanai. Because the body was still thrumming from the experience down south,   I contacted several friends to help transmute what was still hanging on, and then I moved in.  I literally moved into my body in a new way . Immediately, soul family started to show up. It was like they were always going to be here and we were always going to meet. Everyone has their own storey of how they arrived at this place but all who have become friends were all called by mother Kauai and we all answered the call.

Once I found a place to call home, I felt an insatiable desire to see the entire island, so I booked a helicopter tour. Actually this is the only way to see the entire island as most of it is not accessible by car. Never having been in a helicopter, the ride was a complete thrill. Beyond the thrill were cellular activations given to me by the island as we hovered over her in all her splendour. After the ride, I felt lit up like a christmas tree. I spent the evening in the quiet of the hotel and the ocean to take it all in.

Of all the places I have travelled thus far, this isle oozes the most  love. Everyone I meet has a smile and is willing to be a friend, if only for a few minutes.  Yes, people are on vacation and have left their worries behind, that is true, but it is different here.  There is kindness that is like a virus. The island emanates this kindness.  There are areas of suppression like I felt in Poipu and of course some people who's hearts are suppressed but eventually all of that will  be transmuted as more of us return to our home, both geographically and cellularly. Anyone with a suppressed heart has a tremendous amount of courage to come here and be here because it will begin to break loose.

Favourite fun things I have immersed myself in this week are (drum roll please);

1. A Hawaiian dance recital that featured young and very accomplished dancers, mastered by their  Kumu (teacher) Leilani (pictured below) . Not only did they Hula but they also featured dances, songs and drumming  from New Zealand and Tonga. I felt myself being carried on the wings of the Aloha spirit and I went home smiling to the core.

People call this island "Layed back", I  call it LOVE.  It is the isle of love. If there is a Garden of Eden it is here on Kauai.

Kumu Leilani

2. An evening of Ukulele and Hawaiian song during which I got to play on stage with a whole group of Ukulele enthusiasts. I jumped into this surprising invitation like one who sees a fine wave and knows that the surf will be a thrill.

3. I was invited by a new friend local friend who has lived here for 13 years,  to the end of the road up north of Hanlei during the rains. We were accompanied by a three year old angel boy. The rains were fresh and invigorating and the ocean roared with 8-10 ft waves. The little boy was like being with a pure crystal as his blue eyes and blonde hair and pure sound lit up my heart.

Last night I slept for 10 hours, letting my cells catch up to all that they have been drawn into. Today I am off on another invitation to explore. In Kauai, I have discovered that all invitations and even minor plans are subject to falling through the cracks. Easy come and easy go. As one invitation crashes, another one shows up around the next bend.  My hotel is right next to a preserved sacred site who's very vibration makes it easy to be still.

What else is in store? What else will present?  Each day is a surprise as I cease to plan and open to all that is here and all that wants to play.