Taking 5
After 2 weeks of summer camp like playtime at the Kauai Beach house hostile, I felt myself being called to take 5 and let the body take a breath. In other words, I needed time to let my body catch up to all the transformations that I ran through over the course of arising through playtime. Both my daughter Jill and I felt like a rest away from the crowd was being requested. She had decided that she would move towards Mauai as her next stop on her own personal journey. Rather than take off with her, I checked in with myself to find that I was still perfectly where I needed to be in Kauai. We found a one bedroom condo to call home for a few days prior to her departure. It was exquisite to have mother/daughter down time and be nourished by the beauty of the space that had a full working kitchen and our own bathroom. I kissed the fridge and hugged the counter tops in appreciation. I really mean this literally. To be surrounded by beauty and to nestle into the softness of the clean fresh sheets and towels was the perfect treat. It felt wonderful because it was what was being requested. I would not need or want this all the time. It was simply part of a beautiful cycle that I have been running through and each part of it has been fabulous.
Once Jill departed for Mauai, I moved across the street to a resort where I held down the hammock and starred up at the clouds for many hours feeling content to do nothing. During this NO-THING time I realized that I was still planning my life ALOT. I was still contemplating my future and attempting to control it. Because I was spending so much energy trying to be somewhere and going ahead of myself to create a safe place, I was not being fully available to be here. As I was rocked in the hammock, I said "I want to be here". I want to be here ,100% engaged without knowing what the future holds. " That choice, that awareness brought me more deeply into HOME than any plans could possibly create As I became available to be here, my higher levels had something to play with…could take me deeper. I also realized that I was Ok with wherever I called home next because I would be able to deal with the feelings that came up. I was also aware that I had several choices and they were all viable form camping to five start hotels. I was feeling a new sense of freedom of choice and less pull of the emotional responses to not knowing where I would call home. Inspired, I awoke at 3 am and posted an add for a room to rent on "The Heart Beat of Kauai " web site . I felt it was being answered as it was being posted. By 10 am I had a reply and a room. Since the demand for lodging on this Island, exceeds the availability, I knew that magic had penetrated the flow and I was IN. I was IN because I chose to be IN.
View from my hammock
Now that I am nettled into my new home, a prefect fit, I feel like a new cycle has began. Another new cycle. No longer a tourist of the island or the world or my own body for that matter, I have now graduated to playful resident and explorer. As each of the 70 trillion cells in my body arise and power up with my own unique consciousness, I make myself available for the plan. This is so brilliant. I resonate with the frequencies of my own plan and it finds me. Let the plan plan me. Brilliant! Let myself be shown what I want before I even know I want it.
Today was my first day of having no plan at all and being available for life in this new way. I did not know what to do? So many options. I found myself feeling both low and content off and on. I found myself asking how would I like to move today? Other than "connect with nature", I got nothing , so I puttered and let my body rest. Slowing down, gave me the opportunity to engage love more deeply in my writing. To engage love (me) more deeply in each movement. Perhaps, rest and quiet was my plan all along. Good job myself. One big inhale and exhale, gives me the answer without any words at all!!
My new love nest
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