SHOWING UP. It's a WIN WIN no matter what else happens!!

A week ago Friday, I bought myself a ticket to the local fiddle fest barn dance, put on my best dancing shoes and headed down the highway. In case your mind was wondering a bit here, I was also wearing a dress. The  shoes only version likely wont show up in any blog.  All joking aside, what I really want to share about this dance, is how vulnerable I felt as I headed towards yet another unknown venue.  I made a few very weak attempts to invite friends but for reasons unknown to me, I felt called to show up solo.  I was  unceratin whether the dances would be "called", in which case it would be easy to absorb a partner from the crowd but if not I was worried that I might not have anyone to dance with and that I would feel really awkward.

As I approached the entrance to the dance, in perfect synchronisity, I met up with a women I had played with the previous weekend at the Victoria Folk music retreat. She in turn introduced me to her friend and voila, I had doubled my people before I even got through the door.  That was a good start. Once inside, I stood watching the dancers acutely aware  that I might stand there all night. Feeling a bit awkward but allowing myself to be with the nuances of discomfort , I did nothing to change how I felt in that moment. I just stood there and let myself not know. With no resistance and my attention fully in the present moment, I started to become  aware of the delicious light that filled the space as kids and adult of all ages swirled accross the floor in a miriade of original moves. I took out my camera and captured a room full of dancers and orbs. In fact ,I could see the orbs with my naked eyes as the camera flashed.( Orbs are little energy entities that seem to show up where there is joy.) As I photographed the action, I was filled with a sense of belonging which dissolved my worry and that is when I knew that the night was already a win because "I showed up."  As I felt the energetic embrace of the community, it  wasnt long before I had a dance partner. In fact, as the night progressed , I had so many partners that I had to decline some to catch my breath. Knowing that the fiddle is a sound that fills my soul, heck maybe it is the sound of my soul, I felt every fibre of my being being entrained to a higher frequency. I felt as though I had had a shower and was being cleaned from the inside out. 

Having the courage to be uncomfortable in uncertainty is the key to new experiences that have the potential to alter the course of our lives. To stand somewhere and feel utterly awkward or stupid and not move to change it, fix it or fade it has the potential to open doors that have felt bolted and unavailable. I have found this to be true in so many contexts. Last Sunday, only days after the barn dance and the fiddle magic, I went to a musical soiree at the Norway House in Victoria. The program every Sunday starts with a jam session, moves into an open mic , and ends with a professional show.  Eager to jam, and the first to arrive, with ukulele in hand, I  sat in the circle of chairs previously arranged for the  the jam session. I fiddle with my uke , played a bit, chatted a bit and mostly  felt AWKWARD because, as the keener I was  still the only one in the circle.  For what seemed like a very long time,I sat there feeling awkward. Once again, I did not move  to change anything. I let myself be there, feeling whatever came up. Eventually,  I became aware of a presence affecting  what was unfolding for the evening. Although the future was unknown, I felt myself as an intricate part of it. Just by breathing and being in the circle, I felt my clear presence light up and entraining the entire place to a higher vibration. I didn't try to do anything, it just happened as it took on its own life. Eventually other musicians joined in and it was easily the sweetest jam ever. As we went around the circle, each leading a song in turn, we created gorgeous heartfelt harmonies. The rest of the evening unfolded on the wings of these sweet sounds. Once again, the awkwardness , "the yet unknown to me", was like a transportation device into compete enjoyment.

On another recent occasion, I drove 40 minutes to a dance at the Legion in Langford BC.  I went in, walked around, said hello to the people I knew from the Victoria Friends Meet up group and realizing that this venue was not complimentary to me, turned around and drove the  40 minutes home. I  put on my PJs and watched a movie instead. It was a great evening. I showed up for myself and in so doing, I was able to give a lift to a woman from the met up group who may not otherwise have been able to attend the dance and give myself a quiet evening. Another win win.

By showing up we create change, we create transformation and we create new possibilities.


 JUST BY SHOWING UP ITS A WIN NO MATTER WHAT ELSE HAPPENS. How cool is that?