Falling ass over tea kettle and wondering what else is possible.

One of the benefits of living more deeply in my body is my experience of music. I have been longing for my singing voice for 30 years and it is just now expanding.  As my body has opened, so has my sound both vocally and instrumentally. Last weekend, I attended the Victoria BC Folk Society’s fall music retreat at Shawnigan Lake just north of the city. It was like an all you can eat buffet of dancing, singing, jamming, workshops and friendship. Over the course of the weekend my body opened spontaneously and unexpectedly, to receive the vibrations deeply into my cells and tissues . Like powerful medicine, it went directly to where it was needed in my body . Did this experience reach me in his way  because I am feeling safety and security from the inside as a way of being? Is it becoming more available as the throughs and perceptions that have told me that it wasn't safe, are leaving? Probably both. Either way, I welcome it in whole heartedly.

I have mentioned that “ safety and security is an inside job” in the last three blogs and still it keeps coming up. This is probably because I continue to have a deeper experience of what it is to live inside of my body. Each day there is a new revelation that comes through to me. A deeper sensation. I noticed at the camp that as I received the sounds, so did I feel more able to make sounds and share my sounds with the group. That felt amazing to me.  I wonder what else is possible? How much more can I embody my higher self as I continue to give the green light for life to keep presenting scenarios to assist me?

My friend, mentor and mastery teacher, William Linville, has shared with me again and again how scenarios that trigger emotional and physical responses in us, show up so that they can cease to have any power over our lives. When we are no longer under the spell of past experience, stored in the body, we become free.  Last week , I went to dinner with two friends and while we conversed, I felt energetic daggers from one of my companions. I thought to myself, " this is strange, I wonder what is happening here?". Her disposition was one of exclusion and I was quite surprised at how this was presenting as it was unexpected. The exclusion part did not trigger an emotional response from me but the daggers definitely did. Right away, I began to breath and pull myself into my body because I was starting to pop out on account of the knife like sensations. I am deeply empathic and I get allot of information kinestetically. So if safety and security are an inside job then what would be the use of popping out. The intellect  can only process information at 40 bits per second while the body can process at 4,000,000 bits per second. Another reason to live life leading from the body principle (being in the body). Kids are full body learners and livers , until we teach them out of it. We all come into the world with a masters degree in awareness, only to have it to replaced with a bachelors degree by the time we are 5 years old. I call this this the greatest dumb down of all times because we then spend the rest of our lives trying to get the master degree back or wondering what the hell happened to it. lol. 

Getting back to my friend and the daggers, I felt myself jump in and out of my body the entire evening. What was coming up for me to see was feeling like I am a bad person which was creating a question about safety and security. In retrospect, if I could go back to the experience again and have a do over, I would have asked my friend what was happening with her and shared what I was feeling. At the time, I was perplexed and feeling safety come and go, and so I did not address it. However, the laughter elicited during the movie Last Vegas (a must see), which we proceeded to after dinner, cleared so much of what came up in me . Laughter is a powerful fire breath and energy mover.

I hold possible that I could be a person that is deeply curious about what is happening and be able to let my body do what it does while I investigate with my voice, without judging anything. This is the ultimate science experiment because there is allot going on at the same time. It's like rubbing your belly, tapping your head  and singing simultaneously .  We are all continuously presented with opportunities to evolve ourselves. Our bodies constantly give us signals as to where to put our attention so that we can move unresolved issues/energies . Last week, I fell on my left hip three times. The first two times I was at the beach and slipped on a log. Immediately, I asked myself what I was thinking just before I fell. I knew that my attention was being drawn lower down in my body and out of my head. I laughed and said to myself "thanks for the reminder" and carried on. Incidentally, I am a good faller as a result of many years of skiing and walking on ice.The third time I fell, I was in the shower. My feet slipped out from under me and I ended up on my left hip again. While I was in pain, I was greatly relieved that I had not catapulted across the toilet and into the sink. For a moment that was distinct possibility, which would likely have resulted in a skull fracture. So while I lay on my back, blanketed by two shower curtains and a curtain rod, with a stream of water now blasting the entire room, I laughed so hard I thought I might pee right there in the tub. While thanking my lucky stars that I didn't need a bigger reminder (i.e the skull fracture) , I wondered aloud what I was thinking before I went ass over tea kettle (old Irish family expression). It turns out that each time I fell, my thinking was limited to past experience rather than wondering what else is possible.

SO WHAT ELSE IS POSSIBLE?   

Who am I becoming. What else wants to present? What dreams and visions want to be realized?  Which ones have yet to be dreamed? 

 I AM READY.  LET'S DANCE !!